Undernetmath’s Weblog


This page contains a collection of quotes from channel conversations, there is no particular criteria for their selection, they simply may have appeared of interest and worth of conservation for various reasons.

<Karlo_>Paraguay should be right between Ellipguay and Hyperguay.

<kmh> there’s a quote/saying about collatz, that it was created by the enemy to slow down military research
<Karlo_> But if we ever find the counterexample… Then we’d have guaranteed military superiority with the Collatz bomb.

<kmh>  the internet’s math sites are under increased surveillance ever since the NSA zoomed in on the possible threat caused by Al Gebra

<Hafydd> <phi> wasn’t there some sort of standard notation for the golden ratio? I can’t quite remember it at the moment

<Moonies> I was going to study…
<Moonies> but I opened my notebook and read “coconut topology” instead of “cocountable topology”
<Moonies> maybe I won’t study…

<claypool> i was late turning in an assignment…
<claypool> they didnt just give me a 0 for uploading 20 minutes late…
<claypool> i was given a grade of -1

<Karlo_> Yo mamma’s so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma’s mass if G = 6.67e-11 Nm^2/kg^2?

2013-6-8: (stolen from freenode)
<^|{`-}_{> verbalize my name!

<FollowJesus> how do i learn math?
<disbelief> read, practice, pay attention.
<kororaa> follow jesus
<exogenesis> get an asian girlfriend

<Karlo_> Yesterday I made meatballs using the sup norm.

<Karlo_> Always bet against the end of the world, no matter how bleak it looks. If you’re wrong, you won’t have to pay off, anyway.

<PiAway> he asked how digits of pi did i know. i told him all of them, i just mess up in the order. 😛
<Karlo_> Good answer

<Karlo_> I once saw a problem that asked how to construct some point (a) with straightedge and compass, and then (b) with straightedge only.
<Karlo_> The solver did (b) first, and then followed it with (a) “Make a small circle in the corner of the paper where it won’t get in the way; then proceed as in (b).”

<joo> Harvard is at “One Oxford Street, Cambridge”.

* onceler2 (~fhdfjdfgg@adsl-99-5-107-172.dsl.lsan03.sbcglobal.net) hat #math betreten
<Karlo_> It’s twiceler

<disbelief> The universe is irrational 😛
<kmh> disbelief, : indeed full of nutjobs 🙂
<onceler> but my wife is transcendental

<Karlo_> I’m not aware of any practical applications of solving Collatz.
<kmh> Karlo_ : saving time would be one 🙂
<Karlo_> kmh: Heh, that’s true.
<Karlo_> I wonder if solving FLT cut down on the number of people trying to find counterexamples.

<Karlo_> I had a conjecture about the torus, but then I saw that it had a hole in it.


[23:29] <Markov> Karlo_ is it possible to do mathematics without writing “indeed” and “clearly” all the time?
[23:29] <Markov> i think ive been damaged from the books ive had
[23:30] * lhrrwcc has joined #math
[23:31] <Markov> some authors use it all the time.. hard to use a rich language
[23:31] <Karlo_> Heh
[23:32] <Markov> oh well, at least in maths one isnt judged by how poetic the statement sounds
[23:33] <Markov> it’s ok to use boring language, consistency is the only important thing
[23:34] <Karlo_> Poetic mathematics can be done, too 🙂
[23:34] <Karlo_> A mathematician named Klein
[23:34] <Karlo_> Thought the Moebius band was divine
[23:34] <Karlo_> Said he, “If you glue
[23:34] <Karlo_> The edges of two
[23:34] <Karlo_> You’ll get a weird bottle like mine.”
[23:35] <Markov> lol
[23:46] <lhrrwcc> hehe

<glk> I am old and very wise.
<glk> I defend the TI-89t against all ememies


<Karlo_> “Geeky F mathematician with lots of bell curves seeks M, standard deviant, for statistically significant activities. Your Laplace or mine.” –Ilana Stern, “Poissonal Ads”


<Stroboscop> can anyone help me a bit , please ?
<Karlo_> Please state the nature of the mathematical emergency.


<zigggggy> karlo, every heard of the
<zigggggy> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairy_ball_theorem
<Karlo_> Yes
<zigggggy> heh
<zigggggy> i thought that was a funny name for a math theorem
<Karlo_> Mathematicians sometimes have a sense of humor 🙂

<Galois> being under time pressure is not the ideal conditions under which to use (La)TeX for the first time
<lhf> yeah, I’m glad Galois didn’t have to learn TeX just before that duel…


<Bo_> Anyone work with Monte Carlo methods
<Shurpy> too many wall street investors apparantly


* nonsequitur has joined #math
<kmh> nonsequitur : nice nick ?
<nonsequitur> hi
<nonsequitur> someone stole my usual nickname
<kmh> but frankly this way you can’t prove anything here 🙂
<nonsequitur> lol


<cyran0> What did the mathematicians say when he was asked about his birthday dinner?  “sqrt(-1/64)”

<cyran0> AC says that every function has a right-inverse.
<Karlo_> Is that really equivalent to AC?
<cyran0> the right-inverse is exactly a choice function.
<Karlo_> Aha.
<Karlo_> Interesting — I don’t think I’ve ever seen it expressed as right inverses, before.
<Karlo_> I rather like the formulation “The Cartesian product of non-empty sets is non-empty”, which seems hard to deny.  🙂
* MReedB has quit IRC (Quit: changing servers)
<cyran0> The well-ordering principle seems pretty easy to deny.
<cyran0> And who knows about Zorn’s lemma.
<Karlo_> I made a well-ordering joke at an event earlier tonight.


<BgStallion> why is propositional and predicate logic so hard? :S
<proMaddof> BgStallion : because my brain is so small
<BgStallion> mine’s smaller
<Magnus_RM> my brain consists of only one electron
<BgStallion> heh
<Magnus_RM> so, i am therefore a bit negative

<kris54241> sorry elle i dont spend my life in math chatroom…
<kmh_> kris54241 : there is a first for everything ….
<Karlo_> kmh: Only if it’s well-ordered and non-empty.

<ChaosTheory_> i dehn twisted your mom
<ChaosTheory_> hmm didnt quite work

<kmh_> farcinator : what’s integrating ?
<farcinator> e^x
<farcinator> but i am getting the same answer every time

<elle`> my professor is nice to me
<elle`> lol
<lhrrwcc> i can see.
<elle`> whats that suppsoed to mean?
<lhrrwcc> those are cute problems.


<Karlo_> Maybe I’ll find an even better filter and get a Nobel prize for it.  This is Economics, so the bar is set pretty low.  🙂
<SJrX> That should be a quote


<PiAway> LHC is wonderful. Makes me proud to be human.
<Mulder_> LHC?
<PiAway> for some strange reason i doubt they’ll find the Higg’s boson, but if they do…WOW.
<PiAway> Large Hadron Collider?
<psilo> lice-ridden hooker chicks
<PiAway> haha, spoken like a downunder mate.

<Karlo_> A neutron goes into a bar and orders a drink.
<Karlo_> When the bartender brings it, the neutron asks, “What do I owe you?”
<Karlo_> The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.”
<kmh> i bet that neutron was named Jimmy 😛
<flamingsp_> Karlo_: a photon goes into a bar and orders a drink.
<flamingsp_> When the bartender brings it, the photon asks, “What do I owe you?”
<flamingsp_> The bartender replies, “For you, no mass.”
<Karlo_> Do photons have mass?
<Karlo_> Only if they’re Catholic.


<Karlo_> Probable-possible, my black hen:
<Karlo_> She lays eggs in the relative when.
<Karlo_> She doesn’t lay eggs in the positive now,
<Karlo_> Because she’s unable to postulate how.


<FatherPi> 31…jeez, i thought you were jailbait when you first started coming here.
<GeekChick> nah, i am old
<Mulder_> 31 is still jailbait
<Karlo_> You’re still a teenager, in hexadecimal.
<Karlo_> (A sixteenager?)

<GeekChick> i hear enough about wow that i have actually been able to have conversations and make ppl think i knew wtf i was talking about


<Karlo_> Back when I used to read Usenet, someone once asked a probability question, and got back the answer:
<Karlo_> “Simple. Either it will happen or it won’t, so the probability is 1/2. This is true for everything in the universe.”


<NotJeff> does GF stand for galois field? or is there some other possible interpretation of it.
<smsie> “girlfriend”?
<supremum> haha
<\Steve> heh
<\Steve> So GF(2) is the second girlfriend?

<organicwrk> “Magnus, Pi” was a TV series, right?

<\Steve> Well, I live in socal, so all I have to do to find a tan is go outside.

* Sais sets mode: +b *!*@*.net
<Sais> Sais’s ban affects: adfgvx glk kmh organicwrk PiAway radicaljoe
<Sais> Noone important, then ;D
* Sais sets mode: -b *!*@*.net

<Karlo_> Factoring is easy. Just take the number and apply a contravariant transformation on a non-orientable manifold and divide it by the square root of its hypotenuse.

<phi> wasn’t there some sort of standard notation for the golden ratio? I can’t quite remember it at the moment


<FatherPi> do the math–or suffer the wrath of Pi who would just as soon see you die as try to get by with some cheapass lie about how staying high is your battle cry.

<Karn> (sorry gf called)
<Sam-L> women exist?

<FatherPi> Karn!
<FatherPi> is Karn sorry because his gf called, or informing us that his sorry gf called? hehe
<FatherPi> and assuming the former, is he sorry because he doesn’t have caller id and took the call? or sorry for some other reason? hehe. j/k
<Karn> pi, the master of unfunny 😉


<ChaosTheory^> I’m scared to take the Chimp test. =D
* kmh offers ChaosTheory^ a banana

<Nacho_space> does anyone know any good regexp jokes?

<Karlo_> A dream within a dream // What am I, a mind reader?


<Karlo_> don’t know much about the internet
<Karlo_> don’t know which software to get
<Karlo_> don’t know my modem and i don’t know ports
<Karlo_> i go online and the screen aborts
<Karlo_> but i do know that i love you
<Karlo_> and i know that if you love me too
<Karlo_> what a wonderful world it would be
<Karlo_> i tried to send an email to your house
<Karlo_> nothing happened when i clicked my mouse
<Karlo_> all i got was just an hourglass
<Karlo_> i pressed a switch and all my files crashed
<Karlo_> but i do know that i love you
<Karlo_> and i know that if you love me too
<Karlo_> what a wonderful world this would be
<Karlo_> don’t know how to access your data
<Karlo_> i’d like to try toni-i-i-ight
<Karlo_> i’d move my cursor
<Karlo_> a little closer
<Karlo_> and give your neck a little gigabite
<Karlo_> woo!
<Karlo_> don’t know much about the world-wide web
<Karlo_> the manuals are way beyond my depth
<Karlo_> don’t know much about the protocol
<Karlo_> i click on help and it’s no help at all
<Karlo_> so if you and me should interface
<Karlo_> let’s not do it out in cyberspace
<Karlo_> let us actuate a real embrace
<Karlo_> what a wonderful world this would be


<heimi> Hi. I’m in a sex chat room and hitting on some chick. She asked me the answer to this, any help? 5p(c) p= 2x sq. – 5x + 4
<Karlo_> Sounds like she’s out of your league. 🙂

Same procedure as every year 🙂

<ValKilmerMob> what book?
<glk> I suggest the TI-89T calc
<ValKilmerMob> fo what?
<glk> To learn math
<glk> http://grahamkendall.net/ has much math
<ValKilmerMob> that a joke?
<ValKilmerMob> oh.. nm… heh

2007-12-4 :

<pejo> Jonathan, perhaps you should try to focus on one subject at a time?
<pejo> You’re trying to grasp more math in one week than I have learned in the past 10 years.

2007-11-28 :

<Mulder_> infinity is how long a woman holds a grudge against you if you incite her wrath

<PiAway> There are two types of reality: subjective reality and objective reality.
<PiAway> Subjective reality is your personal fantasy.
<PiAway> Objective reality is the consensus fantasy.

<PiAway> Reality is just a temporary playground for the math gods.

<Karlo_> The purest math is that which has no conceivable application. 🙂

2007-11-26 :
<Karlo_> I was going to watch a movie, but I can’t figure out my DVD player.
<Karlo_> So I’m back here, at least for now.

2007-11-23 :
<DArcHorse> how much of a budget do you have?
<kOxiNeLLe> I do not know until january, but i am good at getting money, i am a girl

2007-11-17 :
<Karlo_> I once knew a gal from Dundee
<Karlo_> Whose age had the last digit 3.
<Karlo_> The square of the first
<Karlo_> Was her whole age reversed.
<Karlo_> So what would the lady’s age be?

<FatherPi> A lady from Kalamazoo, whose age had the last digit 2…
<Karlo_> Her sister in Kalamazoo
<Karlo_> Had an age with the last digit 2.
<Karlo_> The square of the first
<Karlo_> Was likewise reversed.
<Karlo_> Can you tell me the sister’s age too?

2007-11-16 :
* Karlo_ imagines a compact city being guarded by only finitely many nearsighted policemen.

<Mulder_> i’ve come to the conclusion most of the laws of exponents are definitional

2007-11-15 :
<Guest44166> “I wish I was a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves”
<Guest44166> ~ Oscar Wilde on making math sound dirty

2007-11-14 :
<Karlo_> Cauchy’s dog liked to leave a residue at every pole.

2007-11-13 :
<glk> I suggest the TI-89T

2007-11-12 :
<jackal-> great. I /wasted/ an hour on the problem because I had put a “-” instead of a “+” in my equations. I love it when it happens
<Karlo_> Heh.
<Karlo_> That’s why we need more problems in fields of characteristic 2.

2007-11-11 :
<jackal-> well .. let’s just say my mother is a math teacher.. and doing that in this country is not very rewarding

<Karlo_> The set of all sublight velocities in two spacial dimensions is a Lobachevskian plane (topologically a disk), while the set of superlight velocities is something I call an anti-Lobachevskian plane (topologically a Moebius strip).

2007-11-7 :
<Mulder_> life is struggle
<Mulder_> the more times it defeats you, the clearer the lessons become to you

2007-11-6 :
<Yaroslaw> in pure math you do math for the sake of math, so there’s some risk of spending your life on something that nobody cares about

2007-11-5 :
<Karlo_> Hm, a bit earlier I was thinking of a neat problem, and now I can’t remember what it was.

<Darwin`> thanks all
<kmh__> mulder was faster
<Darwin`> that’s why he always gets the girls
<Mulder_> the truth is out there
<Darwin`> hahaha
<Darwin`> thanks guys

<PiAway> no room for sheep to graze.

2007-11-4 :
<Karlo_> When geometric entities
<Karlo_> Such as a curve (or plate)
<Karlo_> About an axis in their plane
<Karlo_> Disjointly are rotate,
<Karlo_> The distance that the centroid wends
<Karlo_> Times given length (or area) tends
<Karlo_> To mensurate the odds and ends
<Karlo_> With which we terminate.

<Karlo_> Three jolly sailors from Bladon-on-Tyne
<Karlo_> They went to sea in a bottle by Klein.
<Karlo_> Since the sea was entirely inside the hull,
<Karlo_> The scenery seen was exceedingly dull.

<FatherPi> i gave them 10 fingers…now they count to infinity–and beyond. –Pi

<Mulder> Don’t drink and derive!

2007-11-3 :
<kmh> Phi is the custodian at the border between chaos and order.


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